One of the most common concerns of divorcing couples is how the divorce will affect their children. In addition to managing their own emotions, parents want to minimize the impact on their kids.
For people considering a child-focused approach to divorce, bird nesting may seem like the best way to maintain normalcy for their family.
How does bird nesting work?
In a traditional co-parenting relationship, the children move between two households. Bird nesting allows the children to stay in the family home while the parents rotate in and out according to an agreed-upon schedule. When they’re not parenting, each parent stays in their separate residence. The goal is to make the divorce process easier for the children.
There are benefits to bird nesting, such as:
- It maintains stability and familiarity for the children. Even though divorce is disrupting their world, being able to stay in the same house with their belongings, friends and routine can provide comfort.
- Bird-nesting eliminates the need for custody exchanges, which can help reduce parental conflict in front of the children.
- Parents are demonstrating a commitment to working together for the sake of their children.
Bird nesting is not without its challenges. Some common obstacles parents face include:
- The financial strain of maintaining three living spaces: the family home and each parent’s separate residence.
- It can be difficult for one or both parents to move on after the divorce. Emotional boundaries can become blurred, allowing lingering feelings or unresolved conflicts to emerge.
- The logistics of co-managing a shared home can be problematic. Ongoing coordination regarding bills, groceries and house rules is required for a household to run smoothly.
- Bird nesting is usually a temporary arrangement. Eventually, parents and their children will need to transition into more permanent living arrangements. Bird nesting could just be delaying the inevitable.
Before making any decisions regarding separation and living arrangements, it’s best to speak with a legal professional. They can help you review your options and determine if bird nesting is the right choice for you.